you only wish you knew, but then again so do i

2004-01-10T23:43:00.000-08:00

i have a newer better blog with some interesting crap on there...

finding yourself along the way...

2003-11-24T16:04:00.000-08:00

oh wow! what a weekend! eric and i went down to college station on thurs night. we partied and partied and partied. we drove to cold springs like north of houston on saturday. ate some bbq at his grandmother's resturant. then drove back to party even more on sat night. it was the greatest, including everyone's drama on friday.

thanks to everyone for such a bad ass weekend. now just class till wed. then turkey day. then one week of reviews, then finals and it as all over. it is hard to believe that this semester is already over. i have truly turned alot at home this semester. as bad as it sucked at first, it turned out to be not so bad. so after christmas at home i am heading back to a&m to try it all over again. but this time i am much, much more mature. i am ready to get back, work hard, and have fun (in between my school work). but thanks to everyone who listened to me bitch and moan all fall. and thanks to those who always believed in me, i won't let you down.

i will catch you on the flip side...

Been driving all night
Truck lights and pouring rain
Heart full of sad facts
My lips still feel the pain

But I guess that's how
This story's gonna go
Seems like we get this far
Lost with no way to know

This city looks lonely and dead
Feels like I'm looking in a mirror
Of a deserted rest stop somewhere
State line and millons miles to go

Back in the pickup
Fuel topped and ready to go
Point the wheel somewhere northeast
And spit my dreams out the window

2003-11-16T19:40:00.000-08:00

love is the reason we stop trying at everything. love fucks it all up.

2003-11-16T11:14:00.000-08:00

i almost don't remember what a kiss feels like anymore...

Woke up this morning with the sun in my eyes,
Woke up right next to you, what a nice surprise.
Didn't seem like I would ever get this wish,
You make it even better when you give me a kiss.

Now I don't know where this road is gonna take us,
How far we'll go or what life is gonna make us.
What I do know though is that when I'm with you,
It's the only time that this love feels true.

Woke up this morning, foggy in my head,
Cold and dark outside and alone in my bed.
Been wishin for a while that I'd see you again,
Missing you so much, my own best friend.

Now I don't know where this road is gonna take us,
How far we'll go or what life is gonna make us.
What I do know though is that when I'm with you,
It's the only time that this love feels true.

2003-11-15T11:57:00.000-08:00

well...it is hard to believe that this semester is almost over. it has gone by really quick. my "fall of discontent" turned out to be not so bad. a big reason was that eric came home. without him here this fall i am not sure what i would have done. i am really lucky to have a bestfriend like him. he has always been there, no matter what. he is always willing to just listen, or when he knows i don't want to talk about to just say nothing. i am really going to miss him when i go back to a&m, but hopefully he will be coming down to visit and everything.

but on that note, he just got over here, we are going to head up to guitar center and goof around for awhile. but eric and i are going to cs next weekend, some fun times will indeed be had ;)

catch you on the flip side...

2003-11-14T11:37:00.000-08:00

this is a quick quiz that was suprisingly acurate about my personality...it did give very general anwers, but still...just take it takes like 1 minute

color quiz

2003-11-11T11:56:00.000-08:00

this one is not about anyone, so please don't be offended...it is just about those kind of people, you will know what i am talking about

You're so transfixed
On all my imperfections
You really just can't see
Yourself from this dimension

You think that they all want you
You really think they care
You think that they all like you
Your humility is where?

You talk of it all so much
I swear you're in love with yourself
You think this is a game
And you are against no one else

Might as well leave this mess
Alone to dry and blow away
But frustration gives me emotion
To write about you this way

You talk of it all so much
I swear you're in love with yourself
I can't wait to see when you have no one else

2003-11-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

sometimes things just don't work out...

but besides that, i am going back down to cs next weekend. i have to meet with an advisor to get unblocked so i can register, so i figured while i am down there i might as well party for the weekend.

2003-11-09T13:18:00.000-08:00

so write it all down on a tear stained letter
and scream a little bit to make it feel better
what's the point of life if you don't express emotion
ride the seas of change and dream thru the commotion

envision your circumstance and create the sensation
finalize your thoughts and vocalize the frustration
what difference does it make if your words aren’t read?
the energy released will relieve you instead.

that is far as i got on that one...i just didn't go anywhere from there.
i have been putting alot more time into writing, so here is one more for anyone, if anyone reads this...

Writing this down on an envelope
The trains keep rolling by
Union-Pacific shakes the ground
And time keeps passing by

Blame it on our indiscretion
Blame it on our sins
I'd like to think we lost it to
The Santa Ana winds

Lost out in the desert night
Star's beacon leads me on
The smoke and dust from the love we lost
I breathe in deep and carry on

2003-11-08T11:11:00.000-08:00

the deftones concert was the best...

Far, Away, I don’t care where, Just far...
~Be Quiet and Drive, Deftones

but today i get to spend studying, and tomorrow as well...
oh yeah wtf a&m 49-0 at the half...i mean come on

2003-11-06T13:36:00.000-08:00

good thing i got out when i did

2003-11-04T14:42:00.000-08:00

no words left...just the emotions

confusion ends

2003-11-03T17:31:00.000-08:00

what a great weekend. tons of parties and great times with old friends. some much to even go into detail, plus a lack of remembering all of them :)

but...not alot going on this week. friday deftones concert with summer :)
then next week is absoulte hell!!!

other than that...i have my drama still. but i have figured out what i am going to do. nothing...it is not worth it. it just never happened. so...i guess you just win some and you lose some...so eventually i will start winning (when it comes to girls) again.

2003-10-29T17:34:00.000-08:00

tomorrow...it is on like donkey kong!!! down to a&m for the weekend tomorrow afternoon.

catch you on the flip side...

2003-10-27T22:36:00.000-08:00

This glow in her eyes jumps right off the page. The confidence will come in time once the crash finally arrives. So all you wanted was emptiness? Well, all I wanted was happiness! When I look back, I look back at regret. And when you look back, you never seem to forget. The tears that fell are still wet on your street. A romance has died for everyone to see. The leaves fall down. The deer is drawn to the light on yet another dull and pointless night. Will it matter if she hits it dead on? Maybe someday she'll understand why it does. When I look back, I look back at regret. And when you look back, you never want to forget. The tears that fell are still wet on your street. Our romance has died for everyone to...this time...sadness won't prevail.

2003-10-27T20:08:00.000-08:00

well...this weekend was nothing special. we ended up not going to fright fest at six flags, but that's ok. eric and i ended up chilling with dylan while he was in town on fri, fun times at waffle house at 3:30 in the morning. then sat chilled with colin in the afternoon. then went out to grapevine to meet up with ross and jordan. we got lindsey and went to see scary movie 3...it is funny, but stupid as the rest tho. after that we came back to fw and went to the cutting edge haunted house. it was fun, way too expensive, but fun none the less. then another night at waffle house :) why can't there be a waffle house in cs? but sunday after it got COLD! just chilled inside and watched better luck tomorrow and 28 days later, both great movies.

it looks like it is going to be just another boring week, but this weekend it is on like donkey kong!!!

but besides my usual ramblings i kinda have a deep thought. as much as i want some significant other. at the same time i don't, i enjoy hanging out with eric, getting drunk, and acting like an ass. plus i save alot of money not having a g/f.

but seriously, you can't make feelings between two people. and me being the type of guy i am, i couldn't tell if a girl liked me if my life depended on it. so it is just whatever. as much as i may be falling for her, i can't show it. i can't "talk" about it, that could ruin what friendship we have. so i just go on. spending time with her when i can. thinking none stop about wondering what she thinks of me. looking into her eyes, thinking for a moment about this amazing point in time, when the world just stops...are eyes meet. we lean in closer to eachother, and kiss. one of those kisses that makes your heart skip a beat...and inevitably i wake up from my day dream. realize that i can't tell if i should kiss her or not. and then i am just stuck with an akward silence.

so that is the point i am at now. i don't know if i should talk to her about where we stand, and risk ruining our great friendship. try to kiss her, and completely be "that guy". or just let it go...if she likes me then she will give me the sign or then maybe she won't and later on down the road while i get into absolute "friend mode" she tells me that she used to really like me, but she thought i didn't like her. it is a perpetual cycle...
i could loss a great friend, i could start an amazing relationship, or i could just go on how things are and i have a good friend...is it all worth it.

wow i am not even making sense. as you may be able to tell, i am at a loss of what to do. i told you i still had my drama ;)

but i think i will chose to not do anything. it will all work itself out in the end. so i just keep pn going, not knowing what the next day may bring, but one thing i do know...there's no turning back.

my apologizes for the non-sensical ramblings

catch you on the flip side ;)

2003-10-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

it is only 1:30 and today has already been a great day :)
i had to go get a flu shot this morning, it wa kinda funny actully. the nurse rubbed alcohal on my arm and said, "relax, this may hurt a bit." i relaxed and just looked up. after a moment i said, "i didn't even feel it." she laughed and said she hasn't given it to me yet...then stuck me with the syringe.

but i got home...and got my new phone in the mail, my old was a just not cutting it amymore, same kind, just newer

and then the best part!!!!!! i got my letter from texas a&m...and the first line starts...
"You will be readmitted..." so that we excited news. i am going to be back in the spring!!! things won't be the same as last year. i am going to have to work my ass off. but it will be worth it. i WILL get my aggie ring.

i have to take care of some crap, then tonight fight fest at six flags.

everyone have a great day!

i will catch you on the flip... ;)

2003-10-22T20:31:00.000-07:00

here is my atempt to write a little country song...it is not great, but a fun song to play :)

I Don't Mind

Well I am looking,
I am searching
I found near the ground my soul to myself
Beneath this trail
There’s no other place I’d rather be
Can’t you see?
Out here walking
In the rain and hail
Purpose in life it seems to me
Is to not take yourself to seriously

I wouldn’t want me be an old man
Sitting in an office building
Someplace far away
With worry on my face
Well you can take my car, my stereo, my little money
Leave me with nothing but my trail family
Take my dress my clothes, my cheap cologne, my college loans
I don’t mind...I don’t mind

Well if that taxman comes looking
I’m at ten thousand feet cooking up some oatmeal,
Or some rice and beans
I worship a sprit that just doesn’t look down
He looks up through, and all around
You can find him in the rocks and trees
Cause there’s no reason to pray
When you wake up everyday
To the sunrise
Over Sangre de Cristo’s peaks

So find some ground,
Lace up your boots,
Start walking and you will find reason
Enough reason to believe
Well you can drop your worries at the parking lot
Or way down in the city,
Where the sun burns hot
Although civilization is a nice place to visit
I wouldn’t want to live there

Just one final paragraph of advice
Don’t burn yourselves out
Be as I am
It’s not enough to fight for the land
It’s more important to enjoy it while you can
While it’s still here
So get out there and hunt, fish, and mess around
Ramble out yonder,
Explore the woods,
Encounter the grizzly,
Climb the mountains,
Pack the peaks,
Run the rivers free as deep,
That yet sweet, lucid air

Sit quite for a while
Contemplate that precious still, mystery
And awesome space
Enjoy yourself
Keep your brain in your head
And your head attached to your body
Body active and alive

And I promise you this much
I promise you this one sweet victory
Over our enemies
Over those desk bound people
With their hearts in a box
And their eyes hypnotized by calculators
I promise you this one sweet victory
YOU’LL OUT LIVE THE BASTARDS!

but besides wasting time playing my guitar...i got both my test this week out of the way, so i am clear for the weekend. this weekend i have alot going on, colin's b-day, sixflags with jackie, hopefully a haunted house with rossy poo and the wife.
but i will let you all know what ends up happening. have an awesome weekend. and i am so ready for next weekend, holloween in good ole CS! :)

catch you on the flip side....

2003-10-19T17:25:00.000-07:00

i has been awhile since i had a chance to sit down and write something here. i guess that is good that i am keeping myself busy. but things are still just going. i still can't believe that this semester is almost over. that just means i am that much closer to getting back to a&m. lets see what has happened in the last week. not much that is interesting enough to actully write down. last week i chilled with jackie some, she works so much we don't get alot of time to see eachother :( fri started off kinda boring, me, colin, and eric spend the afternoon playing with fireworks blowing shit up, that was fun. then we drove around for quite awhile till we ended up at jeff's house drinking and playing guitar and singing. i know eric and i we having a blast, but i don't think colin was having all that much fun.

saturday...bright and early at 7:30 in the morning eric and i we out shoveling dirt. we spent the next 13 hours outside shoveling dirt, it was so god awful. we did mange to move 12 yards of dirt, which is a huge dump truck load. my god it was not easy tho. after we got done for the day, we went up to razoo's and chilled, spit some mad game on some girls ;) actully it was more of eric. i am still trying with jackie, so there wasn't a point in trying. but we headed home pretty early after the longest day ever.

we got up this moring and we back out in the dirt at 8. but we at least got the job finished. so i spent alot of time with eric this weekend. although we both we tired and grump, we managed to still have a fun time. after i came home and washed the tacoma, i layed down and was out. i took a mean nap, got up ate some dinner, and am about to just relax till i fall asleep again. i don't think i am cut out for this manual labor, but i did make $150 cash...all i ever wanted was an honest pay for an honest days work.

so tomorrow starts another week. this sat is colin's b-day, so we will have to take him out for some fun. then the weekend after that is holloween. college station better be ready...i am ready to party.

so have a good week and as always...i will catch you on the flip side...

2003-10-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

oh man...what a weekend it has been. alot has happened with in the last 3 days. lets see, where do i begin?

thursday night after chilling with eric in the afternoon, going bowling with summer for a little bit, eric and i deliberated if we should go out to a party out in arlington with jackie or just stay in ft worth. finally we decided to go ahead and go out there. i am glad we did. i had alot of fun finally meeting some new people. it was a small party with some people that went to martin. so eric and i were kinda the outcast, but we made ourselves a part of the group. needless to say eric got pretty trashed, and i was the same. we drove to some other party, to only have to leave as soon as we got there. eric got sick, i laughed while he threw up...what are friends for :) then it was a long drive back with eric snoring, and me just listening to music.

friday i didn't do much, just got a day to relax. i went out with colin that night, we went up to fuzzy's for a little bit, then we decided to get some 40's. what an idea...we ended up at steven's house getting curbside twisted with some mickey's 40's :) but after 2 i was down for the count, so colin and i headed home.

saturday i got up early and spent the day driving around with colin looking for a leisure suit for his holloween costume. we were not successful either. but then after just chilling with colin all day i came home, ate dinner with the folks, and relaxed. there was some keg party last night, and eric went up to black cats, but i was just tired. so i took it easy and watched a movie at home.

but...i guess i can give the up date on jackie for those who know about all that...some time this week we are going to go have dinner, just the two of us...so it will be the first real date :) i am in the process of thinking of something creative, i miss being the old hopeless romantic justin. so i will let you all know how that goes.

this week i have a geo lab test monday, and i think that is about it, so a relaxing week indeed. i can't wait till holloween in CS, i am ready to party. but that is all i got for now.

i will catch you on the flip side...

2003-10-08T14:14:00.000-07:00

If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand.
I hope you find out what you want.
I already know what I am.
And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again.
And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am.
I'll grow old and start acting my age.
I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate.
A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone.
And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone.

Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state.
You can keep to yourself. I'll keep out of your way.
And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down.
Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.
It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room,
when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds.
So call it quits or get a grip.
Say you wanted a solution. You just wanted to be missed.

Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget...

You are calm and reposed. Let your beauty unfold.
Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones.
Spring keeps you ever close.
You are second hand smoke. You are so fragile and thin.
Standing trial for your sins.
Holding onto yourself the best you can.
You are the smell before rain.
You are the blood in my veins.

Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

-brand new

i saw brand new at the dashboard/mxpx show. they are a really awesome new band, and it is not all wuss emo crap...

but besides that...i went out with jackie, eric, and jackie's friend bethany last night. we went downtown and got coffee and chilled at the watergardens. fun times :) i think tomorrow night we are going to hit up some haunted house, that should be fun.

i got my geo test back, i was worred about one...yeah straight up busted out a 98 on that bitch...

but anyways, summer is here, so i will finish this all later

catch you on the flip side... ;)

2003-10-06T16:26:00.000-07:00

emotion is dead.

aparently i am still in one of those kinda moods. i swear the weather brings me down so much, i could never live in seattle. but today was just the same old shit as every day. just lectures and came home to do nothing. i have a history test tomorrow morning so i get to spend tonight studying for that. i did finally get jackie's number today, for those who don't know who she is, she is this girl in my geology class. really cute, went to blinn last year and worked at the tap, but came home for this semester. so i can always talk to her about college station, which i miss so very much. but i think this weekend i am going to try to get her and her friend amanda in our geo class to goto a haunted house with me and eric. if it works out it should be cool. god i don't know when the last time i actully went on a somewhat date.

but i don't have much to say, i really never do...but here is a good conversation between me and brian earlier:
PlutoniumMonkey: well I gotta go get ready
PlutoniumMonkey: gonna spend more money on girls i won't get any from
PlutoniumMonkey: you know how it is
Fox23Mx23: lol
Fox23Mx23: trust me i do
Fox23Mx23: girls suck!
PlutoniumMonkey: its just never works out that way
Fox23Mx23: it never does, but we still try
Fox23Mx23: and fail
Fox23Mx23: maybe someday, maybe someday

2003-10-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

well this weekend turned out to be fairly uneventful. fri night i stayed in because of the geo field trip i had to go on sat. sat i had to be up at the school at 7:30, god that was so early. but i spent the day driving to oklahoma to look at rocks!!! believe it or not it was actully kind of interesting. i did learn quite a bit, and i made a friend...this girl britney in my lecture, we hung out the whole time, so that was cool, but she does have a boyfriend, so no getting my hopes up. sat night i meet up with eric. we headed up to fuzzy's to drink a few beers. when we got there the whole fin bunch was there chillin' on david's '74 caddy, that thing is a beast. it should give us some fun time :) but after one beer, colin's drunk ass decided to get into a fight with chris. so after we wrestled colin down, we drug him to my car and i had to take him home. he went from slamming chris's head into the trunk of the car, to crying about sky with in like 2 minutes, so there was no doubt about it he was trashed. after we got colin home safe, eric and i just chilled out front of his house till we decided to call it a night. today it looks like i have alot of studying to get done, i have a history test tues that is all essay :(

i am not sure if it is the rainy weather or what, but i am getting into one of those classic justin kinda modes. i just suddenly became aware of how alone i am. like not friend's wise...i mean eric is back and all, but she when it come to being close to anyone. i have tried not to let anyone here see the real me. i just figured i would spend this whole semester waiting to get back to a&m. but i need to start getting some game back. i am completly given up on girls. i don't even bother talking to them anymore. i am not sure what has caused all this, i am sure it is a combination of everything that happened with girls at a&m and just having no luck here.

i would give anything to just hold someone, not like i want a girl friend, but a girl i can be close to. as stupid as it sounds, but a girl to be interested in me. i don't know what happened to me. i have lost all confidence i ever had.

i am faced with the problem, i know i will never find someone if i am looking, according to the old saying. but then i will never find anyone if i don't try. if i never talk to any girls i am not going to get anything. so what do i do. well being me i sit here typing out my thoughts on a blog. i bitch and moan to friends who are so sick of hearing this same bullshit. sometimes i just need to grow up. i am still trying my hardest to just be happy on my own. i am happy up to a point, then there are some days that it is hard to do it all alone. so then i am back to where i started, finding happiness in others. and i know from experience that all that does is get me hurt. love sucks, there is no way around that one. the only thing i will ever know, is that i will never know.

but the monolouge must end, i have to start studying...

but i will catch you on the flip side, and maybe the flip side with be a little better than this side ;)

2003-10-03T17:45:00.000-07:00

last night was a fun night...i hung out with summer. we went out to the lake for awhile. went and got some chinesse food. hung out with eric. then went back to her place and watched a scary movie, by the way, the amityville horror is a HORRID movie. not scary at all. but i ended up just crashing there. which i was kinda surprised that my folks were cool with me staying at summer's. but on the eric made me realize something, he said that we were good together. that started me thinking about summer and me. i realized i am really in eternal friend mode. by the fact that we can sleep in the same bed, and nothing happens kind of proves it. but i am cool with that. it is nice to have a best friend that is a girl. if you know me then you know i get along with girls well. it must have something to do with that whole dawson's creek melodramtic complex i have? but yeah...i am home on a friday night, which sucks. i have to be up at the school at 7:30 for a geology field trip, man i am so excited...i get to spend all day looking at rocks (i am being facious;) ) but it is for 10% of my grade, so it is kind of important.

but i am actully going to go ahead and study some history for my test this week. studying on a friday, where is the party j-crack we all know and love :( he is there promise, just has to get his ass back into a&m :)

but i will catch you all on the flip side...

2003-10-01T19:26:00.000-07:00

this has been a long freaking week so far. might have something to do with the massive amount of test i have had. phyc went well, geo was rough, and fianlly phil tomorrow, shouldn't be that bad. i went out to the country club today to play golf with my dad. that went well. i think i finally have find something i can do with my dad where we will actully get along. although he likes to tell me what i am doing wrong alot, i just smile and say ok. eric called me this afternoon. he is back from the navy. not by choice tho, they actully kicked him out, it is a really crappy situation for him. but i am excited that we get to hang out again, i really missed him.

tomorrow i am supposed to hang out with summer, and do our normal drive around and find places to go chill and just talk. i am so glad i still have her as a friend, she is honestly the only girl i have here. i am kinda sick of everyone asking if something is going on between us. yeah, i have offically stepped into the eternal realm of friend-mode, dun..dun..dun... but it is not a bad thing. i have a best friend, who is a girl that i can confide in and just be my melodramic self with :)

hopefully eric and i will get to hang out this weekend. saturday i have to go on a geology feild trip, for 10% of my grade, to Oklahoma, it is just an all day trip...yeah i am real excited about getting to look at some rocks (said in a facious tone)

so yeah...i really don't have anything to report, jsut tired of studying and wasting time. hopefully sooner or later i will have some more crazy party stories or girl drama, but as for now i am just hanging in there.

catch ya'll on the flip side....

2003-09-28T17:41:00.000-07:00

why must all good things end. this was by far one of the best weekends i have had in a long, long time. i went down to good old college station. i miss a&m so much, you will see, a straight 4.0 when i get back, plus...once an aggie, always an aggie ;)

but i went down thurs afternoon. we had a old fashioned 442 shindig at ross's apt. and needless to say every single person there was obliterate...woke up in one of ross's roomates bed, he wasn't there obviously, and wasn't sure how i got there. honestly the last thing i remember of the night was falling behind the couch and saying, "fuck it i will sleep here," and rob kicking me and saying, "he is out." it was indeed a great night. after a morning of getting over a pretty good hangover, we went out to the bryan golf course and played a round. let me tell you...me, rob, ross, dave, and brice had one of the funniest rounds of golf ever. didn't to too horible either. later friday night we went to texas roadhouse for dinner. ross ended up eating the "Big Fran", a rare 32 oz. sirloin in 30 mins for $3. you just gotta love ross sometimes. After dinner we headed out to a few parties, 2 random birthday parties to be exact, and we didn't know any of the peoples who's birthdays it was. you gotta love college station for that reason alone :) we kept the tradition alive and hit up taco c. that was fun, watching the fag in the eclipes convertable get a lap dance in the drive thru, and danced in the drive thru with him :) saturday was game day....whoop! although we losed, nothing beats a hot ass afternoon game with my girls ;) saturday night was some lamda cho party that was busted after i had one beer, then off to some house party that was pretty cool, lots of old friends there. then just went back to the apt with the guys to stay up late and just get ripped ;) sunday, i woke up and heading home :( now i am sitting here, avoiding starting to study for my geology test.

thanks everyone for the best weekend ever...i miss you guys so much, and don't worry i will be back before you know it...i love you guys :)

it is weekends like this one that make the weekdays worth it :)

catch you on the flip side...

2003-09-21T14:19:00.000-07:00

another weekend draws to a close. it was a pretty good one to i must say. it all started with the dashboard, mxpx concert, which was the coolest. right up front in the pit :) friday night the whole fun bunch went to play paintball. after some pretty good welts and brusies we just went to fuzzy's. colin woke up up early on saturday and i went with him out to forney, which is really freaking far away, to pick up his '51 ford coupe. that should be fun to roll in once it gets running. then later that night we headed up to the tcu football game. tons of girls as usual ;) but other than just driving round looking for girls not much was going on. i did make quite a few drunk dials last night, so i appologize if you were victimized by any of those. but today just some footfall watching, doing some homework, and that is about it.

look out college station, i am trying to come down next weekend, so be ready ;)

catch you on the flip side...

2003-09-17T21:28:00.000-07:00

Beneath these eyes
There's a glint of a smile
Happy with the fact
We haven't spoken in a while

I've been meaning to call you
But I just don't feel the need
I'm feeling much better now
Seeing that "we" doesn't include me

Beneath these scars
I'm already healed
I've found another
A reason to feel

today was just another weekday...chilled with summer in the afternoon...then got some homework done this evening.
i am getting exctited...tomorrow is the dashboard show!!! what better to start the weekend then getting backstage at a bad ass show...dashboard confessional, MxPx, brand new, vendetta red...

2003-09-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

well...what do i have to say today. not alot, just another boring week at school. tcc is going well, of course if it wasn't, i may be legally retarded. i actully set a curve on a test, i only missed one on my geology test, i was proud, i was not exactly known for setting curves at a&m :)

but last night was nice, i went and hung out with summer. we went and sat on the hard top of the tacoma and looked at the stars and just talked. then went to starbuck's. i am glad i still have summer here. she is the only girl i have in fort worth that i have. and my others are in college station :(

but i am excited...thursday night is the dashboard confessional concert!!! tyler hooked us up with names on the guest list for the meet and greet, which kicks massive amount of ass. but other than that, just doing the same old thing, different day.

catch you on the flip side.

OH!!! how could i forget!!! eric is coming home! they kicked him out of the navy for having add, which sucks, but he is coming home. there are some good times to be had.

2003-09-14T11:19:00.000-07:00

last night was a fun night. the whole fun bunch (the fun bunch being to big group of guys that i hung out with back in the day) made our way down to the university pub crawl over at tcu. it was interesting. lots of beer involved of course. lots of rich, stuck up girls out there. but then again it is tcu (no offense summer, i love you :)) i still am not quite sure why the rich, stuck up girls always seem to be so incredible hot...but that is a whole philosophical discussion.

i don't have much to say besides that...i am telling you my life is not that exciting anymore.

but i guess i will catch you all on the flip side...

2003-09-13T13:20:00.000-07:00

well...i figured with the free time i had, i might as well do something with it. and i am all for jumping on the bandwagon, so here is my blog. i will go ahead and say i will do the best i can to make this interesting, but nothing intesting happens it my like right now. but i can asure you, i will do my best to make my life incredible melodramtic and something that would be fit for an esisode of dawson's creek, which i do miss by the way, and katie holmes is still a hottie.

but not alot is happening right now, i am just trying to make it by while still at home. i am having some fun here, but i still wish i was back in aggieland. i just finished up my essay for readdmission, and i must say, it kicked a massive amount of ass. so now i just wait to see what happens. i know everything happens for a reason, so that is all i have to hold on to.

i have been hanging out with colin again. that has been different. i am trying not to get to close, i am afraid he will get back with sky and just forget about me again. he is going through alot of crap right now, so i am doing what i can to just be his friend.

i have decided that i am ready to start dating again, not meaning i have a date, just that i am starting to look. i have been single long enough, and still hanging on to something ( i won't even get started on that whole thing, i could go on forever)

so i just take it one day at a time, and i know that everything i go through somehow will make me strong and learn more about myself. there is always tomorrow. so i guess i will catch all of you, if anyone actully reads this, on the flip side.